7 Tips to Cope with Living with a Person Addicted to Drugs (Tips For Persons Affected By Substance Abuse)
Raised voice!
Constant bickering back and forth!
Verbal, emotional and physical abuse!
Slammed door!
Desperate calls to the police station!
Unending trips to the family court!
For the past few years my family and I have been plagued by one or more of the aforementioned events on a daily basis. We have first-hand experience of the pain, dysfunction and instability brought by drug use on the family.
For
the past three years we have been confronted with the challenge of drug abuse
in our family home. My little brother is a user of Marijuana, Crystal meth and Nicotine.
He has admitted to using these three substances on a daily basis in the past
year alone while refusing the intervention of drug rehabilitation center's. The effects
of this drug use have changed his natural temperament and personality terribly;
it’s like living with a complete stranger. It has also caused huge strain on
the family.
Despite the many events
that have presented a chance for divisions in our family because of conflicts
arising from the drug use, those of us who are sober have thankfully been
able to remain united. This article details the different coping mechanisms my
family has used over the past year to have some peace in the storm and remain
united against the enemy of substance abuse.
IN
THE ARTICLE:
1.
Daily
devotion and Prayer
The critical
role prayer and devotion played in our family’s fight against substance abuse.
2.
Confide
in someone you trust
Having a circle
of family, friends and associates can comfort the persons affected by drug
abuse.
3.
Manage
your reactions
Remembering that
the loved one abusing drugs in not in their senses and treating them as such.
4.
Cut
off financial support
Cutting off
finances may restrict access to drugs.
5.
Report
any abuse
Reporting
physical, verbal and emotional abuse short-circuits abuse.
6.
Ask
for help
Relevant places
to ask for help for the abuser and the persons affected.
7.
Unity
of the family
The benefits of
a united family during adversity.
8.
Conclusion
The one activity that my mother and I agree conclusively has contributed to our sanity, fortitude and hope in an otherwise hopeless situation is the time we devote to daily study of the Word of God and prayer. This has been important because many questions plague the mind of the person that is going through such a situation: Is it my fault that my child or brother is abusing drugs? Is God punishing me for something I did? Does God still love us? Does anyone care? Has my child been bewitched? When will this end? The daily study of the Bible and praying has helped us answer some of these questions and given us peace to accept those questions that we can’t answer.
We encourage daily
spending time with God in His word and through prayer. It has had many benefits
for my family and I. Comment below if you want to know more about this copying
mechanism.
2.
Confide
in Someone You Trust
No man is an island. This point was made very clear during a conversation I had with a woman who was troubled by her daughter’s emotional abuse as a result of her abuse of Crystal meth. When I shared with her our journey as a family, she remarked that I was my mother’s strength. Human beings are by nature social creatures. Not having a circle to depend on only adds to the stress. Sometimes family members and friends that have never experienced living with someone abusing drugs can have a more detrimental effect than a positive one, which further isolates the person affected by drug abuse. There are however online communities of people who have shared experiences. Families Against Substance Abuse on Facebook is one such online community were members united by the shared experience of drug abuse gather to share their stories in order to comfort and strengthen on another.
3.
Manage
your reactions
Many of the substance
abused by our loved are psychoactive by nature, meaning that they alter the
brain function of our loved ones, some drugs being more aggressive than others.
It has been a steep struggle for my mother and I to understand this and respond
appropriately. In a heated moment it becomes very challenging to remember that
in that moment, our loved one is not themself and therefore any hostile
reaction we might have does not help the situation most of the time. An
approach can be taken were the substance abuser is addressed when they’re
sober. My mother and I agree, that there are times we’ve averted and escalation
in the situation by managing our reaction and deferring confrontations to later
times. There have been times where we did not even address the matter because
he is seldom in a sober state of mind and how deeply my little brother has been
affected.
4.
Cut
financial support
Cutting off financial
support could push the addict to turn to acts of criminality to support their
drug habit. In our experience it proved to be a way to decrease the user’s
access to drugs. In my brother’s case, he had access to his inheritance and
spent a large sum on sustaining his drug habit. When he had gone through all
his money he then demanded money from my mother. When he realised that didn’t
work he started selling off his possessions to sustain his habit.
For cases similar to my
little brother, families may apply to the Masterof the High Court to cut off the user’s access to the funds by having the court appoint a curator to protect the assets at a minimal cost.
5.
Report
any abuse
A difficult topic when addressing abuse arising from drug use is that of reporting the abusive user to the authorities. Author and abuse recovery coach who works exclusively with women, Sarah McDugal, found that reporting abusive behaviour short-circuited acts of abuse. I found this to be true in my personal experience. I suffered physical, verbal and emotional abuse by my addicted brother and resolved to apply for a protection order against him. I was granted an interim protection order on the day of application. He has since contravened the order four times, and I’ve reported the matter on each occasion to the SAPS and criminal proceedings are under way. The frequency of his behaviour has decreased dramatically.
6.
Ask
for help
There are several
avenues of help available to the persons affected by drug abuse as well as the
drug addict.
·
Therapy
Persons affected by
drug abuse may enlist help from therapy to help them cope and heal from the
trauma. There are private and private alternatives available. Provincial clinics offer free psychological help around the country. Private services may be
accessed using cash or medical aid.
·
Voluntary admission to rehabs
Private
and state rehabilitation centers are available around the country. The drug addict must consent to
admission. They would have to submit a medical report to the rehab which can be
completed at either private or public clinics.
·
Involuntary admission to rehabs
An involuntary admission
is slightly trickier. Section 33 of The Prevention of and Treatment for SubstanceAbuse of 2008 outlines that a sworn statement written by a social worker, community leader or
a person closely related with the person who is dependent on substance be
submitted to the public prosecutor. The statement should prove that the person
dependent on drugs (a) is a danger to himself or herself or to the immediate
environment or causes a major public health risk; (b) in any other manner does
harm to his or her own welfare or the welfare of his or her family and others;
or (c) commits a criminal act to sustain his or her dependence on substances.
·
Hospital intervention
Some cases of drug
abuse tend to end with drug abuser affected with psychosis. Such cases then
become a challenge to ordinary rehabs as they are not equipped to handle cases
where psychosis is involved. Leaving the case in limbo, as in our case,
hospitals reject cases of alleged psychosis precipitated by drug. This is why
we need our laws to change in this regard and you can help us accomplish this
through signing our petition.
7. Unity of the family
Many families have been
torn apart and divided because of the actions of the drug abuser. One of the
women my journey has brought me across explained to me how her daughter had
moved out from their family home and stopped talking to her because she blamed her
for the waywardness of the her two addicted sons. I realise how fortunate my
family is to still be united in the face of strive we face in the home. This
has not happened in a vacuum however, there have been many opportunities to go
our separate ways but we’ve chosen to stick together and fight the drug enemy
as a unit.
We urge families to
talk through their frustrations and even attend family counselling if the need
arises. It is terrible enough to be afflicted with the dysfunction brought by
drug abuse, the family should resolutely stand against further affliction by
allowing dissensions to arise stemming from drug abuse.
8. Conclusion
Fighting substance
abuse in the home is a long and arduous journey. The above steps have helped my
family, Please share some ways your family has managed to cope with having a
member addicted to drugs by commenting below. You are welcome to join our
Facebook group- Families Against Substance Abuse to get updates on our petition and also encourage each other with other
copying methods.
DISCLAIMER:
The author of the blog is not a professional in the field of psychology or related to drug abuse, but writing from experience.
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